How To Thrive When The Alligator of Antagonism Strikes
The two groups lined up to begin the race, not knowing what lie ahead on the Florida obstacle course the researchers had constructed for a unique purpose. A sports psychology group decided to conduct an experiment between a sample set of professional athletes and Marines. The purpose of this experiment was straightforward. To discover “the difference in how the two groups responded…”[1] when presented with a dangerous situation for which they were not prepared. The simple task for both the Marines and the professional athletes was to “run across an open field, touch a fence, and run back as fast as they could.”[2] However, unknown to each of these groups, the researchers placed an artificial alligator by a pond that would emerge from the water when prompted. What happened next, proved insightful. The professional athletes began quickly and energetically as expected, but when confronted by the alligator, “scattered as quickly as they could”[3] without one single person finishing the race. The Marines, while beginning the course with the same enthusiasm, responded differently to the perceived threat. They “stopped, faced the alligator, and started to laugh”[4] each one in turn finishing the race.
Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder note of this pointed experiment. “The difference between the two groups was that one had been trained to endure hardship and face potential threats. The other had merely been trained to compete.”[5] Within the American church, there is an “alligator” in the water threatening to scatter believers. Our first response in those moments, reveals our character, and determines whether we will finish the race or live a scattered existence running from crisis to crisis. However, there is an element to this reality that few are talking about and for which I have a rising concern. Those desiring to maintain godly character are finding the local church less and less a place of refuge, and instead, a surprising source of assault. In other words, the “alligator” in the water is not something many would have considered an enemy but an ally. For example, stories abound of…
- Those who have experienced abuse at the hands of the church, being branded as problems for wanting to expose the injustice.
- Those who want nothing other than the health of a local church are being marginalized from positions of influence to protect the desired prevailing narrative.
- Pastors, 48% of one sample size, state that they have been either verbally or physically assaulted by someone WITHIN in their congregation.
These are not just hardships that people face and must “get over.” In many instances, these occurrences are catalysts for people to leave their faith altogether!
Rather than being isolated instances of antagonism from what should be the safe confines of a congregation, these stories are gradually becoming more common. The question is, how do THESE individuals maintain their character in an atmosphere that is supposed to help steward it? Do the rest of us have a responsibility in this matter? I have a few thoughts.
Character formation is never a lone ranger task.
Our relational connections, not our adherence to a set of beliefs, cultivates our character. Often, a well-meaning pastor or mentor will offer you the encouragement to read your Bible, go to church, pray, or tithe. While these are vital spiritual disciplines that every follower of Christ must actively engage in, they lack the ability to shape our character, forming in us the resilience necessary to endure hardship.
A few years ago, I came across these words from Dr. Jim Wilder. “Our brains draw life from our strongest relational attachments to grow our character and develop our identity. Who we love shapes who we are…. Our brains are designed to use our attachments to form our character.”[6] In other words, the more I am relationally connected to people of godly character the more resilient I become, giving me the greatest opportunity to endure hardship. There is no replacement for Christlike mentors, parents, grandparents, friends who will stick with us when the alligator strikes. We are our brother’s keeper!
More people must recognize their responsibility to be protectors.
There is a strange behavior that characterizes people when they see antagonism at work in a particular situation. They simply pretend that it doesn’t exist! While someone is being attacked on social media they will say, “I don’t even look at that stuff.” When an individual is clearly being treated unjustly, they will refuse “to get involved” because it is simply too uncomfortable and dangerous for them to do so. When a heated conflict arises, many will simply refuse to “take a side” choosing what they feel is the higher, more noble ground of neutrality. When this occurs, we are choosing to abandon people in their moment of greatest need, leaving them to fight the onslaught in isolation. Eventually, this loneliness takes its toll, leaving many helpless against attack.
In contrast, a protector is someone who chooses to engage in an uncomfortable situation to protect the humanity and dignity of another. They will rise to defend another when they are defenseless. They will run toward the abandoned in their isolation. They will speak up for those whose voice has grown weary. Protectors understand that it is their obligation to involve themselves when others would prefer to conveniently dismiss themselves from the situation. This is the example Jesus modeled and what He expects of us. Jesus involved Himself in the affairs of humanity and desires that we get our hands dirty doing the same.
Antagonism comes in a variety of forms, and we hear reports of it often. A child is sexually abused, a wife is physical or verbally assaulted by her husband, a church member is wrongfully accused of not submitting to their spiritual authority, or another believer is being strategically ostracized from a particular group. Each of these cases are opportunities to bring healing. We must fight the very strong tendency to run away from the “alligator” and instead link arms with the attacked and face the threat together. When we stare down antagonism in this way, the Church will thrive, the flock will be protected, and we will all finish, “…the race marked out for us…” (Heb. 12:2). Let’s finish this race together rather than abandoning those hurting among us to face the danger in isolation. The “alligator” does not have to win! We can thrive in a world where antagonism is very much alive.
[1] Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, Rare Leadership (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2016), 90, Kindle.
[2] Ibid.
[3] Ibid
[4] Ibid.
[5] Jim Wilder, Renovated: God, Dallas Willard & the Church That Transforms (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2020), 42, Kindle.
[6] Jim Wilder and Michel Hendricks, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation (Chicago: Moody, 2020), 79, Kindle.